


You Have 12 New Messages

by needs_more_horseradish



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Tony Stark is everybody's dad, let's just assume Avengers 4 ends in a best case scenario and everybody lives, retired Iron Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 13:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15931391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needs_more_horseradish/pseuds/needs_more_horseradish
Summary: Thanos is dead and buried, everbody else lived.Pepper and Tony have five children now, three of them adopted. While Pepper is busy running Stark Industries, Tony has retired from being Iron Man and cares for the children, occasionally calling up other superheroes when he feels they need a good dad-scolding.These are his mailbox messages.





	You Have 12 New Messages

"Rhodey, can't make it on Friday, Pepper is attending a thing, they're giving her an Award for being Pepper, about time if you ask me. Brunch on Sunday? I'll bring your godchildren."

 

  

"Steve, I woke up today with the vague feeling that you're about to do something stupid, so I'm calling you now to tell you NO."

 

 

"Hey, Vision, you know how I'm a cool mum and everything, so regarding to your question you sent me: You weren't built to father children, but you and Wanda are a bit of a wild card, so uuuuh I don't know? Why are you asking? Are Bruce and I becoming Grandfathers?"

 

 

"Hey Peter, good job with the bank robbery on 22nd street, not so good job on taking a job with the Daily Bugle, I mean they hate you. What the hell kid, if you need money, I’ll hook you up with Pepper."

 

 

"Nebula, just reminding you to come over next week so I can fix that thing in your ear. Not to be rude, but you literally have a screw loose in your head and I don’t want you running through the Galaxy with a skewed sense of balance. Oh, before I forget, tell Quill he’s a dumbass. I don’t know what he has been up to since the last time I saw him, but I’m sure it was something mind blowingly stupid.”

 

 

“Hey Merlin, I know your house is full of old magic and stuff, but I’ve heard the noise the plumbing makes and that is  _not_  an okay sound for a metal pipe to make. Come over when you can, I have a high magic stress resistent sealing ring with your name on it. And bring Wong while you’re at it, I’ve fixed his iPod."

 

 

"Bruce, have you read that thing the Princess has send us? I mean geez. Call me back as soon as your ego has recovered."

 

 

"Steve, just to make sure: NO."

 

“Suri, sorry to get back to you so late, my youngest is teething and I had an iPod to fix. Anyways, I went through your suggestions, and congratulations, you are the only one of two people who ever made me feel like an idiot. The other one was my class mate in third grade who asked me to pull his finger. 

But, back to you, I have attached this idea I had a couple of years ago regarding portable instand wormholes, got stuck with it, see if you can make something out of it maybe?"

 

 

"Thor, how are things going in New Asgard? Sweden nice? Listen, I know you're busy but can you pick up your brother from New York? I was at the library with my daughter, and I'm pretty sure he's posing there as a librarian. Well, he  _said_  this was his actual day job now, but I'm a bit freaked out regardless. Have you seen what he has done with the arrangement in the non-fiction section? Frankly, I'm appalled. He really stoked up the lgbt section though, which is nice. Call me back asap, Point Break, love you."

 

 

 

"Steve, I just saw the news. I told you so, but did you listen? I'll come over tonight and get your idiot's arm fixed."

 

 

"Hey, Pym, I just watched the news. You letting Ant-Man run around like that? I know you guys have a theme going on, but you can't rely on some winged ant always being there when he needs it. One day he'll have to shrink and jump from a great height and fall to his death. Not to stick my nose into your business, but if you're not doing something to prevent that, I will. I'm thinking hoverboard."


End file.
